My child started kindergarten. I didn’t know if they could draw a circle much less a picture of a face.
They moved quickly and dance-painted with their feet. We’d roll out butcher paper and fill the void with tempura paint wonder. Often the mural turned into a slip and slide. Summer days I’d fill a baking sheet with liquid color and the fun would begin! Little feet jumped onto the metal sheet and then quickly sprinted down the sidewalk, paint droplets flying. Those were happy moments.
I’d be remiss not to mention the hard moments. The full-blown meltdown at IKEA. Being spit in the face during a car seat buckling session. To name two.
I waited and found out in kindergarten if my child could hold a pencil and write.
Why did I wait?
My kiddo had no other developmental delay concerns and was advanced in other areas. My child experienced asynchronous development – faster in some areas than others. Development in one area, like running, doesn’t mean development in another area, like holding a pencil, will necessarily happen at the same schedule. Sometimes focus is elsewhere. Honestly, my primary focus was on emotional regulation. I worried about transitions and safety, not holding a pencil.
When to wait:
First, if you have concern for your child’s development or concerns of developmental delay, please always ask your child’s doctor. Ideally, every well child visit involves checking for development both before by screening questions and during the visit with your doctor. If not, you can find out about the ASQ 3 here and talk to your doctor about using it.
If your child has only one delay, you may be encouraged to “watchfully wait” by your doctor.
This may be appropriate if all the following are true:
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- You are able to follow up closely. This means more visits with your doctor to watch how your child is developing.
- You have no barriers to health care. You are comfortable with the English language and are not from a marginalized group. We want to stay aware of systemic shortcomings of the system.
- Your child has no big picture issues. Think low tone, born early, etc.
- The delay has to be minimal. Meaning, your child is only a little behind in that one area.
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When to worry:
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- Always worry if your child could accomplish something and now can no longer complete this task or activity. That’s a regression, a lost milestone. When that happens, it’s important to get it checked out.
- Your child is behind in more than one area. This is especially concerning if all areas are slower to develop. This may be global developmental delay. Again, this requires evaluation.
So where does this leave us?
Know you aren’t alone. Other parents have similar concerns. I have had them myself as a parent.
Each child follows their own path. Many children develop at different rates and have no long-term delays.
Support makes a difference. Delays found early and supported are more likely to improve.
Disclaimer: If you are concerned for your child, please ask your doctor. Remember this blog does not replace their advice. What I share is purely educational.
If you’d like to talk to me about your development —or their behavior, in general—please reach out. You can get in touch using the brief form below, or by calling (503) 208-4007.
*** Disclaimer
This blog is for entertainment, informational, and general educational purposes only and should not be considered to be healthcare advice or medical diagnosis, treatment or prescribing. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical care. Always seek the advice of your qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
